Sally's Tip Jar Is Overflowing

The bedroom session that almost didn't happen. His mercy endures forever.

Our Sweet Southern Sassy Sally used to say she had a secret tip jar for every time I wanted to quit. She never told me how much was in it, but based on her smile whenever she said it, it was full. Sally, if you are watching from glory right now, I want you to know this episode nearly emptied your retirement fund.

She was right. I have quit a lot of things in my life. Sports. Relationships. Jobs. Projects. Ideas. Hopes. Dreams. I have started over more times than I can count. And when I sat down to record this episode after working commencement weekend with thousands of people, my anxiety off the charts and my body completely spent, I almost added this to the list.

The recording sounded terrible on my computer. That was the thing that broke me. Not because bad audio is a crisis, but because there was nothing left underneath it to absorb one more hard thing. I had an emotional, crying meltdown on Charles. He was being kind, trying to help. He moved the whole setup into our bedroom and got the microphone working on my laptop so I could keep going in a different space. He did not make a big deal of it. He just helped. This is why I married him.

I sat back down. Not because I felt ready or inspired. But beacause I could not quit on God when He has been so faithful through so much. Also because I kept thinking about Linda, Bonita, Regina, Jessie, and Bess. I could not quit on them.

I was not in a great place spiritually in that moment. I was struggling with my thoughts and emotions. But I needed to hear what God had done these past three strenuous months. I needed to be reminded of His mercy and love, not because I felt it, but because I knew it was true even when I could not feel it. Sometimes that is the whole point of saying it.

I finished and uploaded the episode with twenty minutes to spare before The Quiet Table. Then I moved back to the office and went live, still doubting everything, still moving forward anyway. Very on brand for me.

I thought about Mother Theresa. Not to compare myself to her because she was in the slums of Calcutta and I was in my bedroom in Indiana arguing with myself and a microphone. But the movie The Letters showed that even she doubted whether Jesus was with her. She showed up anyway. If she could doubt and still go, maybe I could sit back down at a laptop. And if God could speak through Balaam's donkey, I guess He could use me too.

I do not have a tidy conclusion for any of this. I do not know exactly why I finished that day. It might have been stubbornness. It might have been the women whose names I kept repeating in my head. It might have been something I cannot fully name. Sally's tip jar is full for a reason.

What I know is that God has been faithful through more than I have words for. He was in that recording session. I could not feel Him. He was there anyway.

This episode opens three movements of Rachamim | The Mercy Project together. Romans 5:8, the love that was already moving toward you before you knew you needed it. Lamentations 3:22-24, Jeremiah in the ruins making the yet, declaring hesed and rachamim from the ash heap of Jerusalem. And Revelation 22, the river flowing crystal clear from the throne of the Lamb, the Spirit and the Bride saying come to everyone still thirsty, without price, forever.

Come as you are. Sally's bottomless tip jar has room because it includes the endless mercy of Christ.

He is good. His mercy endures forever.

Season 4, Episode 68 of the Lyric and Letter Podcast is below.

You can listen to the full album HERE and the free companion devotional for Rachamim | The Mercy Project is available HERE.

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